The Delores Diaries
by tiarnan
Summary: Everyone hates Umbridge, right? Well I do anyway. If you hate her this is the story for you. Every post has something that mocks Umbridge in some very unflattering ways that are bound to leave you laughing. !WARNING! May contain course language occasionaly
1. Chapter 1

_**1 **_

_**Delores Diaries**_

**Delores:** I just wish we could all get along, like we used to in middle school, I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles then everyone would be happy.

**Severus snape: **She doesn't even go here!

**Delores: **Fuck you BITCH!


	2. The Delores Diaries

_**2**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

**Minerva: **Delores, you're wearing pink!

**Delores: **So?

**Snape: **It's Monday. You can't sit with us anymore.

**Minerva: **go bother someone else!

**Delores: **Fuck you bitches! You can walk home!


	3. The delores Diaries 3

_**3**_

_**Delores Diaries:**_

Delores Umbridge, the author of fifty shades of pink.


	4. The Delores Diaries 4

_**4**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

Dear Umbridge,

Even I wouldn't wear that much pink!

Sincerely, Paris Hilton.


	5. The Delores Diaries 5

_**5**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

It was evident how many skirving snackboxes Fred & George had sold before leaving.

"Umbridge-itis"

considering the fact Umbridge only had to enter her class room to make her students faint, vomit, develop dangerous fevers and have blood pouring out of both of their nostrils.


	6. The Delores Diaries 6

_**6**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

Evil

now available in pink


	7. The Delores Diaries 7

_**7**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

_**Delores Jane Umbridge**_

even bad ass death eaters are afraid of her...

(I think Voldemort may be as well)


	8. The Delores Diaries 8

_**8**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

Dear J.K Rowling, Why did you have to kill off Dobby? Why couldn't it have been Umbridge? WHYYYYYYYYY!?


	9. The Delores Diaries 9

_**9**_

_**Umbridge Diaries**_

**Professor Umbridge**

The real-life Burdine Maxwell - (from the bratz)


	10. The Delores Diaries 10

_**10**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

Dear Delores

Umbridge,

kindly spare us all and go avada kadavra yourself, ok.

Sincerely, Everyone


	11. The Delores Diaries 11

_**11**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

It's pretty obvious that Harry and Umbridge don't like each other, but isn't this just taking it to far?

During DADA

**Umbridge: **Now everyone, wands away and turn to page 5 of defensive magical theory.

**Hermionie: **Aren't we going to practice defence against the dark art spells?

**Umbridge: **Now I don't see why we would need to do that. It's not like anyone is going to attack you in my class, miss Granger.

**Harry: **Oh, you mean like Voldemort?

**Umbridge: **Ten points from Gryffindor!**.**Now, let me make a few things clear. You have been told that a certain dark wizard has returned from the dead but I can assure you that is a lie.

**Harry: **It's not. He killed Cedric.

**Umbridge: **Mr Potter, Mr Diggory's death was a tragic accident.

**Harry: **Oh, like your face?

She was kinda asking for that.


	12. The Delores Diaries 12

_**12**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

**Breaking News!**

**Delores Umbridge**

**Live At The**

**Leaky Couldron!**


	13. The Delores Diaries 13

_**13**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

Dear Delores

Roses are red,

violets are blue,

a face like yours belongs to the zoo,

But don't worry, I'll be there too!

But not in the cage, but laughing at you!

From Filch


	14. The Delores Diaries 14

_**14**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

It is seriously not cool when people ship me with filtch. Just no!

from Umbridge


	15. The Delores Diaries 15

_**15**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

**Harry: **Why is the Ravenclaw symbol an eagle?

**Umbridge: **What other animal would you want it to be?

**Harry: **Umm, I don't know. Maybe a raven?


	16. The Delores Diaries 16

_**16**_

_**Delores Diaries**_

Hermione Granger, How do I even begin to explain Hermione Granger?

**Luna: **Hermione Granger is flawless.

**Cho: **I hear her hair's insured for 10,000 galleons.

**Trelawney: **I hear she does wand commercials... In Japan.

**Hagrid: **Her favorite subject is charms.

**Lavender Brown: **She once met Victor Krum on a broomstick...

**Umbridge: **- and he told her she was pretty.

**Draco:** One time she punched me in the face... and it was awesome!


End file.
